CAPTAINS LOG..

TOTALLY AWESOME DUDE..

2010-11-11T14:00:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJr5MlWJ4tE

god knows why these guys are bigger than they are cause i reckon they fucken rip..
whne i worked at volcom i used to sing parts of another song these guys did in a funny voice much to the amusement of my fellow co-worker chimmy* (chimango, chimmy changa, changas, o-wranga-chang, bimberley ) ahh how she laughed...then again we used to play hide and seek like a toddler and she pissed herself at that too...hmmm..maybe she really was laughing at me and not with me..regardless..oh yea..awesome colour. these guys are fucken awesome and well worth a listen. im switching from KYUSS week (n.b kyuss have reformed minus the tall wranga and are touring again!) to awesome color friday. fuck...what a useless blog entry this was. woooooo

THE OL' BOOZEROONY

2010-11-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

RIPPING OLD KYUSS! josh hommes haircut is amazing...fuck it! im havin a non stop KYUSS fest for the rest of the week..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhpPorKGZDA&feature=related

DONT!!!!!

2010-08-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

were back on! after a good six months of shananigans around the world (read melbourne / sydney / LA) its time to get weird blog style again! i promise the wait was worth it...maybe..hopefully..wellllll... for now...heres a blog about blogs where you can pump your blog full of other peoples blogs that use other peoples blogs pictures....ha... http://ffffound.com. you too can look like you can navigate your way round the googlemachine with ease whilst having a sharp eye for design, culture and other peoples images! get inspired! get ripping...get weird!

FARKKKEENNN SLLAAYYERRR!

2010-02-07T14:24:00.000-08:00

im lagging hard getting new stuff up here aint i..shit..never fear tho! i got tonnes to get up! for now i present for you two of the most funniest kids ive ever met..from this angle they looked so metal'd out they where killing it..until you realised that they are wearing pink and fluro yellow short shorts respectively.
they where head banging like it was going out of fashion at slayer and generally being young pups pissing amongst the big bad old dogs lurking at the side of the mosh pit...that was until they starting belting up against a guy on crutches just out of shot...2 warnings went down before said crutch wielding guy simply leaned on his crutches grabbed one kid dropped him then reached across to the still oblivious puppy #2 and put him on top of his mate..he then grabbed his beer back and went back to watching kerry king destroy shit. i think i laughed so hard beer came out my nose! im sure theres a lesson in there somewhere..like never fuck around at a slayer show or something..either way it was entertaining as all fuck! death to all but metal!

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO

2009-12-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

this trip to tokyo was hillarious..not only did we get to hang out with old dirty davo...but we discovered how to turn into japanese witch hatbots..damo..of course..figured out how to transform first..if only you could hear the muffled sound of damo laughing so hard i fell over in the street at him...thank god japanese streets are safe as and there are no police around cause we would have been in the drunk tank this night without fail.

2009-12-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

what else are ya gonna do in minus 10 degree tokyo after quite o few jack and drys..it didnt take long for a local to walk past and cop this...

2009-12-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

fuck this photo makes coffee come out my nose i laugh that hard...hows the poor bruce lee look alike just going "fucken hell..where do these gaijin come from...if we had that bomb back in 44' things would be very different round eyes!"

WE HEART PETEY part 3

2009-12-07T01:50:00.000-08:00

this is peteys owner and handler trev. trevs away at the moment and we've been looking after petey. i keep leaving the gate open and petey escapes down the pub looking for trev. we have to go down and entice him home with a long neck of VB. poor little bugger..i hate seeing animals fret.

2009-12-07T01:47:00.000-08:00

PISSED OFF LETTER BOX...

2009-12-07T01:45:00.000-08:00

THIS JUST MAKES ME LAUGH! it reminds of that depressed robot from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy marvin that hated that the when the doors opened on the space ship they cheerily commented "have a great day" to which the depressed robot used to go on a tirade about how depressed he was and even the doors hated him..amazing..nearly as amazing a my old man waking me up every tuesday at 1130 pm on a school night to watch the young ones on ABC. no wonder my sense of wit and humour is so tweaked...thanks dad. RAD....self indulgent warning!

bbbbbbbbbbbbasket..aw fuck it..

2009-12-07T01:38:00.000-08:00

those commonwealth bank ads used to really shit me..but lately they are just getting better and better..the basketball suggestabox one is all time..to the no doubt arrogant cocaine and champaigne bloated advertising executive with his ivanhoe girlfriend ( one who frequents the ivy bar ) i tip my hat..those ads are hillarious!

LIKE A BROWN ROBE ON THE DEATH STAR FLOOR

2009-12-07T01:35:00.000-08:00

north bondi brings out the best and worst in people..form scurrys of squirrels on facebook mountin to brookers absolute genius summing up a hangover..."i feel like a brown robe on the death star floor" heres to long fucken summer days and beers on rocks!

WE HEART PETEY part 2

2009-12-07T01:29:00.000-08:00

awww....these two just couldnt settle down after a big day in the water..frolicking around the house knocking each other over..classic..this behaviour is typical of pack animals and is inherent in canine packs. its basically just soft play fighting to establish heirachy without actually attacking one and other. these two are so nice that they would never actually arc up and fight each other anyway...they might look dangerous but they are big softys.

2009-12-07T01:21:00.000-08:00

dogs always do three turns before they sit down..this is due to their instinct to make sure their surroundings are safe. here we see austin and pete settling in for the night.

2009-12-07T01:18:00.001-08:00

2009-12-07T01:16:00.001-08:00

ha..haha..ha..beer?

2009-12-07T01:14:00.001-08:00

poor little buggers...it was a really big day in the sun for both of the little tykes..god love em'..

IVE GOT THE PERFECT T-SHIRT DUDE..

2009-12-07T01:08:00.000-08:00

to wear to ms. bondi 2009...oh snap! i should have remembered to wear my "random breast inspector" tee shirt..fuck..im slipping.

les cuisses de grenouilles

2009-12-07T00:59:00.000-08:00

i saw this little cracker down the mall the other day, apparently he was only minding the store for a minute as his mate had to go to the bathroom or something..or oportos or some such malarky. which got me thinking...who in the name of al things slayer actually found out that frogs legs where edible? i mean come on! did someone actually go "mmm..those little buggers legs look tasty..ill have a go" no..wait..it was definetly for a bet! a drunk bet in southern france in the early 1800's..shit..problem solved..i can go to bed now. oh yea..i found this on the net too "Consumption of frogs' legs in France totals 3000 to 4000 tons per year

(60 to 80 million frogs). With a population of 60 million, that makes only 60 gr
[2 oz] per Frenchman, which means that, contrary to what many foreigners
believe, frogs' legs are not so popular in France ! Frog is now a protected
species in France so much frogs' legs are imported, in particular from Indonesia.
Frogs' legs are also light with 70 calorie per 100 gr [3.5 oz].

A suggestion to prepare frogs' legs very simply : Dip them into flour then fry
them in a non-stick pan with olive oil and crushed garlic ; 5 to 10 minutes
will be enough. Delicious !"

delicious my ASS!

THE BALAST

2009-12-07T00:51:00.000-08:00

UPRIGHT YET FLEXIBLE THRU A STORM.

WHY NOT?.....

2009-12-07T00:45:00.000-08:00

this is all getting a bit self indulgent isnt it..me this, my dog that..pffttt..i think im more inclined to be as jealous as all hell on my dogs life! he just look likes he's having fun 24/7! i think he's still a little bummed i cut his back wheels off when he was pup but aside from that i think he has it totally dialled! austin..dog of the year.

2009-12-07T00:41:00.001-08:00

2009-12-07T00:40:00.001-08:00

2009-12-07T00:39:00.001-08:00

SERIOUSLSY THO...

2009-12-07T00:37:00.000-08:00

i found these little beauties tucked up behind my virtual shed of iphoto..if i remember correctly this was way behind the lines in bandit country in south west china. miles from anything. with water buffalo laying in the driveway out the front. this is actually denim being dyed and it was about 400 degrees next to this bastard..awesome.

NAN OF THE YEAR 2009

2009-12-07T00:31:00.000-08:00

HOW GOOD ARE NANS! my nan is 93 years old, likes going to the bowls club, is planning on going to england next year, hung out at our boxing day party and whipped my ass at boccee, not once..but thrice! thats her in the middle by the way.

WE HEART PETEY

2009-12-06T21:31:00.000-08:00

ive decided to get back on the blog train as i have way too much funny shit to reveal to the world to hold onto or post on a crap social networking page..RAD! the first in this series is my flat mate pete AKA the labarador. is that how you even spell that? anyhoo... ill explain later why pete is in fact mans best friend and not allowed to participate in any affililiated actions of brookers or myself. here petey is telling brookers

"RRRRRRRRuufffffff rufff ruff rrrrrrrr ruf ruf ruf.."

to which brookers replied...

what boy? the bars not serving coopers cause miss bondi is sponsored by pure blonde and not 'strayas favourite son of beers!"

yep...pretty much..here we go sportsfans..BLOGGING!

you may snicker....

2009-04-28T19:43:00.001-07:00

that corbs rolls out deep in all white..but then again i dont see most people hangin out with modules and affiliated mambo employees (SG!) either with ease and aplomb that he does! so you better shake his hand or buy him a drink next time you see him..cause corbs is killin and he dont care!!

OUT AND ABOUT WITH C DOT HARRIS..

2009-04-28T19:31:00.000-07:00

Im sure your all aware of ol' corbs puplic profile these days, quite frankly he's giving it a red hot freakin go..but im tired of the papers making corbs look like some everyday celebrity that makes the social pages every other week! its plain injustice!!! my friends...corbin is a true HOON and i shall run my own social page shots to back up my theory! cause ive had more nights that i cant remember what ive done in the previous hours than hugh hefners had blonde pencils with bolt ons attached, and they are always hillarious! p.s daily telegraph if you poach my shit im sueing!

2009-04-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

ITS GLENN WITH 2 N'S YA KARNT!

2009-04-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

well well well, after glenn (otk2) dug up my now infamous ATOM helmet test, i stumbled over this little beauty..good times! way back when most people where still sleeping with their new firemans helmet from xmas on cause it was too rad to take off, we all did, dont kid yourselves!.i have no idea where that was going..oh yea glenn..ripping........fuknoath!!! baulko number plates for everyone son!

and the winner of the ms. universe pagent 2009 is....

2009-04-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

jack fardell!!!!!!! the most amusing amazing human i know, if you ever watched ol jacky heckle / quiz people either from the platform of a park or in the pub you'd know why he's pretty much my manchild of the year.....

I AM DESIGNER..

2009-04-28T00:36:00.000-07:00

im going thru a new art "renaisance" i believe its called decoallge or something like that, i think it has a silent K in there somewhere, if i had spare time id blame it on that so ive got no idea where this new influx of inspirado comes from...some say im merely a medium to channel the universes collective creativeness, when inpsiration hits it feels like..its..nearly ..not me present but a higher being flowing from hand to scissors..to sunday tele new babys section and onto someone elses photographic art.. but i reckon im just half pissed on the couch bored alone on a sunday arvo. fuck art lets kill!

HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO...

2009-04-28T00:30:00.000-07:00

we where somewhere around bondi when the beers bagan to kick in...i remember saying something like..."what the fuck are you too doing! " then all of a sudden the sky was filled with bats all screeching and swooping around.. the great boxing day go off of 2009!

THE SHE'LL BE SWEET AWARD FOR 2008 GOES TO....

2009-03-02T23:29:00.000-08:00

ha...fuck this makes me laugh...its like that part in revenge of the nerds where the nerds scare the horse in the deans office and it dies. and the janitor has to cut its rigamortis ass legs off to get it out of the office the next day....ha!

only the beach road would be able to pull this off! RAD

"how highs the bar?

"aww bout 10 feet i reckon"

"reckon tha horse would fit on it for the melbourne cup promo?"

"aw...mmm..yea fuck yea...easy..it'll shit it in"

"yea i reckon too...we'll take it mate"

..........

"hey thomas..." (names changed to protect the hillarious)

"yea mate"

"the horse dont fit ay, we didnt measure the fucken ears!, ill just cut em down"

"the hell you will..i got 900 bucks deposit on that fucken fibreglass nag, just fucken cut a hole in the roof..we'll spack it up later"

"yea..good idea.."

absolute genius!

FLAT OUT LIKE A ONE ARMED BRICKY

2009-03-02T23:21:00.000-08:00

stay tuned...ive got the xmas / summer fun and chaos logged and ready to roll all up in this piece.....yo. if you cant wait ill send fucken ryan round to sort you out! you dont want to make him angry! look what he did to his wn birfday cake when it didnt have enough icing on it!

TOTALLY TUBULAR BROSEPH

2008-12-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

FAARRRKKKKKKK... down ol' Bond-i was pumpin Yesterday.... an that bro ...while i sat in front of my movey typey picture screen in an air con'd office all day jules went and got shacked all day till his arms resembled his grandmas linguini from Roma..the ol..... "should have been here earlier" never rang truer.......FUCK. P.S Yyep..the top photo is actually bond-i..

CREAM RISES...SO DO STALE FISH.

2008-11-20T23:05:00.001-08:00

HOW RAD ARE STALE FISHES..fuck, love them little bastards..whats rad is that cuz and i didnt know each other yet but mike mills shot us doing the same trick within the same time, on the same boards even down to the stinky rector knee gaskets..rad..it was fate at work i tells ya!! faatteeee.. to bring us together 10 years later so we could HOON on and drink most of our brains to jelly later down the track!!! totally awesome bro bra..

whhhhheeeeeee.....drink...i mean art..

2008-11-17T19:17:00.001-08:00

brookers takes good photos..he took these little bloody anzacs last sunday..he also likes beer and has a razor sharp wit..go to eat rich kids and check his blog out ya karnts!! jules loves beer and and his bike...as you can see he's as excited as a jack russell with a bag of scooby snacks! terrance is gnarley...ive renamed him terma-chin-ator cause he's a fucken track bike machine on the road..and he can also fit 2 six packs in his bag, here he poops out a small human to make way for more beer post "tour de wato"!!

FIXED GEAR FAG

2008-11-17T17:23:00.000-08:00

yep...ive officially turned gay to some people.

i even rode it to yoga once, but i thought my ham strings wanted to snap out the top of my legs when i was praying to the roof, so i never did that again.....im as guilty as sin of absolutley caning friends in the usa to within an inch of their rolled up pant legged tolerance level and all..ha..whoops..sorry boys..i am now "down". plus im retadred with anything that has moving parts i,e walkmens, mountain bikes and roadbikes so the less i can break the better.and...you can ride to pubs!!! lucky i can backpeddle on the subject of riding a fixed gear bike better than i can on my bike.

2008-11-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

austin and i spend a lot of time trying to come up schemes of world domination...i want a fuck off property with a huge reservation full of feral cats, foxes, politicians and other such burdens to our native wildlifes wilderness and one of those huge russian helicopter gunship's that chases rambo in "rambo 3.. a gueido in nam" that he manages to shoot down with a freakin arrow!!! and just cruise round all day raining 7 types of hell on em all in my spare time..... austin just wants to perfect the art of the invisible punch cause he likes todds blog..he's actually getting quite good..id never actually hit him tho..he's as big as a baulko..he's up tp O.T.D (ozzie tuff dog) #2 in our street now.

dressing down for the occasion...

2008-11-16T22:39:00.000-08:00

ha....fuck this shit makes me laugh...

why do grown adults who are usually quite concerned with their outward appearances dress up for an american tradition and proceed to party...and party like your wearing a cloak of invisiblity and that no-one notices that your out of your mind stumbling the streets and lurking in dark corners of night clubs dressed like the wiggles evil white trash relatives, scheming how to rip off pensioners from narrabeen caravan park, i actually know someone who lived there actually..meant to be ok, but i digress..

oh yea..if it wasnt for everyone else dressed up and raging id actually be concerned that we do these things..pretty sure we ended up somewhere doing bad things till all hours still dressed and mingling with normal people. i learnt 2 things that night....im getting too old to deal with the consequences of partying like theres no consequences and never listen to nine inch nails for the subsequent 3 days afterwards wondering why its all just too hard so why bother...ha..im truely a fuctard from hell..

p-daly will straight jack you..right in the drive thru at mcdonalds..

k-fish..yeaaa player.. straight outta bondi beeyatch upper east side (just near knox boys college) and night of the living deb waitress....she used to work at archies diner just outta bellevue hill till one night a truck driver came in stuffed her in the boot of his audi t8 and did burnouts round campbell parade for not putting enough chocolate on top of his skinny organic choi latte...

thanks glenn...

2008-09-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

i got $50 bucks for selling my prepubescent soul for this!! thats like half what a kid in thailand could get for lurid acts with a middle aged white collar professional from Double Bay on a work "junket"..pretty sure we bought a sixer of coke ( the same legal effect at 16 ) and some mars bars, bought water pistols, and copped a smack in the mouth a 2am on the corso for said water pistols soaking some fuckwit from narrabeen. i think...

you aint seen SHIT yet!

2008-09-29T02:06:00.000-07:00

i've been tossing up this blog stuff for a while..cool....shite..self indulgent..mean....funny....who cares.... see, im pretty much a half informed shitbag who makes way more wrong turns than a one legged cat trying to burying a turd on a frozen pond so this just makes perfect sense in my shallow nihilistic world.

Plus my friend kerry seems to enjoy my amazingly abhorrent, ripped from hunter thompson, writing skills, laugh..i do, shit..why not, if kerrys the only person that EVEN reads this..it'll be worth it..he's my biggest literary fan. and like every fading rock star trying to stay in touch with their "demographic".... "its all about the fans bro..without them..we'd still be flipping burgers for the clown on sunset and vine..the fucken fans man!"

see..im already being a little bitter bitch...

p.s..fuck it..lets go..see how this all pans out...might even get all misty eyed and reminisce about some good times gone by....i'll be gentle...i promise..